Fake smile plastered on her face, she smiled as she listened to ‘friends and family’ offer their condolences. When she felt like she couldn’t take it anymore, she excused herself and slowly made her way to her room. She could feel pity stares directed towards her, like little thorns in her back. She got to her room and closed the door behind her, sighing deeply. She wanted to cry so badly but she had no more tears left to shed. She made her way to the closet and opened slowly; breathing in deeply the masculine scent from the clothes hanging there. The smell of his cologne, Gucci guilty intense wafted through her nose and the tears she thought she didn’t have came flooding back. Falling to her knees, she wept and wept; emptying her heart to the empty room.
* * *
Losing someone was hell…..losing your better half was even worse, especially when you had spent the better part of your 60 years with him. The still form on the bed was the beginning of her hell. She was in a daze , refusing to believe that it was over. In a minute her life had changed. The feeling of disbelief had quickly turned to hysteria as she screamed for him to come back. Her rational mind knew it was impossible but she was thinking straight. ‘He can’t go…he just can’t. I want my husband back’ she screamed and clawed at the restraining hands. She was pulled away and even now as people whispered their condolences downstairs, she felt the hysteria bubble from within. She clamped down on it; taking deep breaths to steady herself. She thought about how her life would be now. There will be no more kisses on her shoulder to wake her up, no mug of hot chocolate when the cold was so bad that she couldn’t feel he feet. There will be more stolen glances, private jokes and long talks on the balcony of their ikeja home. She pulled his jacket off the rack and wore it. Walking to the balcony, she breathed in deeply; her mind running to the events of their life…..
To be continued….
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My Ramblings! 