There’s thing Samsung note 1000 words thingy going on and this is my entry…..
I knew before I even got off the bed that I was going to be late; hopelessly late. As I jumped off the bed and cast a sharp glance at the wall clock, I kept wondering why in heaven’s name I decided to stay out late with Olu to drink small beer and cat-fish pepper soup. And no, it’s not ojukokoro (greed). You see Olu is my long time friend who is very stingy….as in Aradite and super glue ain’t got nothing on him. So anytime he decides to spend his money, you better make yourself available to help him eat it!!!
I rushed to the bathroom and as a true graduate of a boarding school, I was through with my bath in 3 minutes (and mind you, I washed every corner…..thoroughly). I rushed to the bedroom and looked for the suit I had ironed two days ago in preparation for this interview. I know by now you must be thinking that I am an irresponsible young man who should have been preparing for his interview but if you’ve had a taste of Aunty Sade’s catfish pepper soup, you’ll understand where I’m coming from.
So I dressed up fast and rushed out of the house. I made a quick dash for the bus stop which was two minutes away wondering why somebody hadn’t come up with a way to send messages by thought. It suddenly occurred to me that I could not remember picking my phones. I rushed back to the house, cursing the silly boy called Olu and the nonsense temptation that was Aunty Sade’s catfish pepper soup.
I got to the house in good time and started the frantic search for my phones. It took me about 30 minutes to discover that my phones were sitting nicely on the side table where I left them last night. If I was somebody else, I would have slapped myself but now was not a time to throw blame so I grabbed them and rushed to the bus stop to get a bus. I got into the bus and reached for my phone to send a text and confirm the address of the office only to discover that both phones were dead. Yeepa!!!
I tried to recall the address of the office but my brain hadn’t fully recovered from last night’s beer. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t seem to recall the address. i was officially screwed. I was going for an interview, I didn’t have the address, couldn’t call my contact person to pave the way with some smooth ‘excuses’ (not lies please, I don’t lie) and I was on my way to the Island. Everyone knows how streets on the island are confusing. I took a deep breath and weighed my options, willing my beer soaked brain to work. Suddenly I had a light bulb moment!!! I knew my contact’s number by heart. I quickly took my pen and jotted it down lest I forget it again. I alighted at Obalende bus stop and took in the scene. People jostled left and right struggling to get to their various destinations. Taking a deep breath, I plunged into the crowd searching for a pay phone. 5 minutes later, I still couldn’t find a pay phone!!!
I decided to trek to TBS hoping that I could find a pay phone on the way…..I didn’t find any!!! By this time, I was panicky, angry and confused. I couldn’t afford to mess this up, mehn. I needed this job badly. I felt as if God was sitting on high and punishing me for chopping awoof( free things) beer and pepper soup. I started promising God…I wont do this kain thing again. I wont take beer, I won’t abuse Olu behind his back again, in fact I wont eat pepper soup again, I would become a pastor and church worker at the same time. Just then, I saw a girl selling recharge card under her big yellow umbrella. I approached slowly and when I saw a small torchlight phone in her hands, I rushed to her and she gave me the phone to call my contact person. A lady picked it up and told me that he wasn’t on seat. I explained my dilemma about the address and collected the address. Soon I was on my way to the office; arranging myself as I went.
I got there in a few minutes, checked in and sat down, posing like a fine boy that I am. I was so nervous but the fine receptionist was secretly checking me out so I couldn’t mess up. Who knows, something might come out of this entire situation. I adjusted and she smiled at me. I smiled back and cleared my throat and winked . Just then my contact walked in.
‘Remi my man…what are you doing here?‘. My expression changed instantly to one of utter confusion.
‘The interview…‘ I started.
‘Interview ke?’He said. ‘That’s still next week na’…..
I sat in my house putting my things together for the interview which I had confirmed was tomorrow. I had charged my phones, ironed my clothes, brushed my teeth 3 times and bought Menthos for good breath, just in case.
Just then my phone rang and I saw it was Olu. I picked it.
‘Remi my man, kilonsele? I dey Aunty Sade place o and mehn, her pepper soup is on point….‘
‘Sorry man, I can’t make it . I have this thing I’m preparing for tomorrow…‘
‘Dude, forget it jare. Whatever it is can wait.The pepper soup is spicy hot, the beer is chilled and the way Ekaete is rolling her wait ehn….‘
I cursed under my breath. ‘I’ll be there in five minutes man‘
‘That’s my guy‘ Olu said laughing.’I’ll be expecting you‘….
I cut the call and stared at the phone for almost 30 minutes.
‘I’m only human‘ I muttered to myself as I grabbed my phone and my shirt and made my way to the door.